he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
