Quick, to the slutcave!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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