hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
