Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
