whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
