they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
