just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
