that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
