I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can I color on your dick again?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
