My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
