need another drink. this is the easiest way
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Randomize
