That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
