after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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