my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
