you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
