so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
