Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
