we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
