I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
