just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
