can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
