Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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