Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
