good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
