yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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