I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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