we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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