well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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