my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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