I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
