i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
