No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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