I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
