the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i would punch a child for taco bell
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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