Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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