would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
