My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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