i barfeds in our rink
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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