Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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