garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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