That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
