I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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