I think I died a long time ago.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
