That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
