I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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