sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
