it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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