I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
