I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
