And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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