I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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