i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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