Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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